Surah al-`Ankabut (The Spider ) 29 : 8

Overview (Verses 8 - 9)

Conflict with Parents
 
The sūrah then refers to a type of test which we have already mentioned: that of ties and bonds with family and loved ones. It gives clear and decisive guidance in such a difficult situation:
 
We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: yet should they endeavour to make you associate as partner with Me something of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. It is to Me that you shall all return, when I shall inform you about all that you were doing [in life]. As for those who believe and do righteous deeds, We shall most certainly admit them among the righteous. (Verses 8-9)
 
Parents are the closest of all relatives. They give much to their children. Hence, to be kind to one’s parents is a duty required of everyone. Indeed parents must be treated with love, respect, and care. Yet when it comes to one’s duty towards God, they cannot be obeyed in opposition to Him: “We have enjoined upon man goodness towards his parents: yet should they endeavour to make you associate as partner with Me something of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them.” (Verse 8) The paramount bond is that with God. Hence, if one’s parents are unbelievers, they should be treated with care and kindness, but must not be obeyed or followed. Once this present life is over, all return to God: “It is to Me that you shall all return, when I shall inform you about all that you were doing [in life].” (Verse 8)
 
When judgement is made between believers and unbelievers, the former find themselves to be a closely knit unit even though they may have no blood relationship: “As for those who believe and do righteous deeds, We shall most certainly admit them among the righteous.” (Verse 9) Thus, those who maintain their bond with God will be together in one community, as they are in reality. The bonds created by blood and marriage relations are no longer valid; they end when this present life comes to an end. Such bonds are accidental and carry no real substance because they are not linked to the strongest and unseverable bond, faith.
 
In explaining this verse, al-Tirmidhī reports that it was revealed in connection with Sa`d ibn Abī Waqqāş and his mother Ĥamnah bint Abī Sufyān. Sa`d was a very dutiful son. She asked him: ‘What is this religion you have embraced? By God, I will not eat or drink until you revert to your original religion, or else I die. You will then be in disgrace for the rest of time as you will be identified as ‘his mother’s killer’.” She did not eat or drink anything for one whole day. Sa`d came to her and said: “Mother! If you had 100 souls and they die one by one, I will not abandon my religion. So you can eat or refuse to eat, as you please.” When she despaired of his response, she resumed eating. God then revealed this verse, ordering Muslims to be kind to their parents and to treat them with respect but not to obey them in disbelief.
 
Thus faith overcame the test of close relations, but kindness and dutifulness remained intact. A believer may be subjected to such a test at any time. When and if this does occur, God’s directive and Sa`d’s action provide proper guidance.