Overview (Verses 231 - 232)
 
Kindly Retention or Amicable Separation
 
Having detailed the divorce procedure, the sūrah goes on to give directions to divorcing couples, urging them to show kindness, compassion and consideration during the post-divorce period, regardless of how the rift came about:
 
When you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting-term, either retain them with fairness or let them go with fairness. Do not retain them out of malice in order to hurt them. He who does so wrongs his own soul. Do not take God revelations in a frivolous manner. Remember the blessings God h bestowed upon you, and all the revelation and wisdom He ha bestowed upon you from on high in order to admonish you. Fear God and know well that He has full knowledge of everything. And when you have divorced women and they have reached the end o their waiting-term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner. This is an admonition for everyone of you who believes in God and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and purer. God knows, whereas you do not know. (Verses 231-232)
 
Married life must be built on a spirit of mutual kindness, fairness and compassion, and this spirit must be evident even if the relationship has to be severed. Malice and ill-will must not be allowed to cloud this relationship. But, this can only be attained if the parties concerned are guided by faith in God and are conscious of their accountability to Him in the hereafter. They ought to acknowledge God’s grace and blessings in allowing them to marry and enabling them to seek happiness elsewhere when the marriage fails, and providing both parties with necessary and fair guarantees for compensation and redress. These principles of kindness and fairness must be observed under all circumstances.
 
In pre-Islamic society, women faced a great deal of oppression and abuse. Female infanticide was widespread in Arabia, and those who survived would suffer cruelty and degradation throughout their lives. Women were bought and sold like animals; mares and she-camels were sometimes considered more precious! They would suffer when they were married; and they received grossly unfair treatment when divorced. Divorced women were not allowed to remarry without their former husband’s permission, nor were they allowed by their families to return to their husbands if they wished to be reconciled. Generally, women were looked down upon in Arabia, as indeed in other societies.
 
When Islam came, it brought fresh principles and values that recognized women and afforded them a status comparable to that of men. It elevated marriage to a religious duty, preserved women’s human dignity, and established for them specific rights when they were married and when they were divorced. These principles and values were a gift from God to both men and women, guaranteeing for them fundamental human, social and legal rights they had neither demanded nor even thought possible.
 
Thus, as the end of the waiting period approaches, a husband should either take his wife back into the marriage, with no ill-feelings and with a sincere intention to treat her kindly and sympathetically; or allow the waiting period to elapse and the divorce to take effect without causing any harm or injustice to the divorced wife or demanding any compensation from her.
 
This would ensure that a man would not be able to abuse his prerogative to divorce at the expense of his estranged wife, as with the case of the man from Madinah referred to earlier, and as seems to have been the custom among Arabian men before Islam.
 
To emphasize this further and purge men’s hearts of evil and selfishness, the Qur’ān appeals to the noblest of feelings and to man’s sense of shame and honour and fear of God: “Do not retain them out of malice in order to hurt them. He who does so wrongs his own soul. Do not take God’s revelations in a frivolous manner. Remember the blessings God has bestowed upon you, and all the revelation and wisdom He has bestowed upon you from on high in order to admonish you. Fear God and know well that He has full knowledge of everything.” (Verse 231)
 
Keeping a wife against her will, or mistreating her, would be akin to harming oneself, because she is a fellow human being, with dignity and feelings. A man would be doing himself injustice, too, by allowing himself to act in defiance of God’s guidance and teachings.
 
When it comes to marital relations and divorce, Islamic teachings are straightforward and clear, aimed at building social life on complete honesty and integrity. Men who abuse divorce, which God has permitted a last resort solution, in order to malign or ill-treat their estranged wives, are violating God’s will and subverting His instructions. Regrettably, such blatant abuse is quite widespread in many Muslim communities today, where men tend to do all they can to evade the proper conduct taught by Islam.
 
The Qur’ānic words evoke man’s sense of integrity and gratitude to God. They remind that first generation of Muslims of the very special grace and favour God bestowed upon them through the revelation of Qur’ānic guidance, which had elevated every aspect of their daily life.
 
One of the most evident favours God had extended to the Arabs was to transform them from obscure, fragmented, uncouth and backward hordes, with no influence or role to play in the world. They had nothing, whether material or spiritual, to provide for themselves, let alone to offer to humanity. A small minority of them lived in riches, while the overwhelming majority lived in dire poverty. They also suffered mental and spiritual deprivation, with an absurd set of beliefs and a primitive concept of life. Their interests were little more than looting raids, vengeance killings, drinking, gambling and similarly trivial enjoyments.
 
Islam transformed them into a great, united, mature and pioneering nation with a profound religious faith. Under Islam they could offer to the world a faith that provided a superior concept of existence. That same nation went on to lead the world and influence its development and progress in all fields. They became a power to reckon with, whereas previously they were subordinated by neighbouring empires or an ignored community with little consequence. Islam also gave them power and wealth.
 
Above all else, Islam gave the Muslim nation peace: peace within the minds of individual Muslims, and peace within the home and within society as a whole. It gave Muslims a greatly enhanced sense of pride, decency and nobility, which in turn gave them cultural maturity and self-confidence that made their civilization stand out in the history of mankind.
 
Muslims of that generation did not require much persuasion that they were a favoured nation because they were aware of their pre- Islamic past and the vast leap they had taken with Islam. They knew and appreciated fully the value of the Qur’ān and its wisdom for the well-being and stability of their community and, in particular, of family life which formed the cornerstone of their society.
 
Finally, the Qur’ān touches Muslims’ hearts with a warning that they should fear God who “has full knowledge of everything.” This warning evokes a sense of fear and caution, in addition to the sense of gratitude and integrity already revived, in order to use every means of focusing their attention on the right course of action and behaviour.
 
The sūrah directs Muslims not to stand in the way of an estranged wife, whose waiting period has elapsed, if she wants to remarry her divorced husband and they have come to an amicable and honourable agreement to do so: “And when you have divorced women and they have reached the end of their waiting-term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands if they have agreed with each other in a fair manner. This is an admonition for everyone of you who believes in God and the Last Day. That is more virtuous for you, and purer. God knows, whereas you do not know.” (Verse 232)
 
Al-Tirmidhī reported that Ma`qil ibn Yasār gave his sister in marriage to a Muslim man who later divorced her and she remained divorced until her waiting period had elapsed. After some time they both felt they would like to marry again and the man went to Ma`qil, asking to marry her. Ma`qil was furious and reprimanded the man for divorcing her in the first place, and swore that he would never marry her if he were to live for ever. Al-Tirmidhī adds that, nevertheless, it was God’s will that the couple should have the chance to be reunited. Thus, this verse was revealed. On hearing it, Ma`qil said: “I hear and I obey.” He then called the man and said to him: “You have my blessings to marry her.”
 
This highly compassionate divine gesture towards people’s feelings and emotions is evidence of God’s boundless mercy towards mankind. The verse as a whole aims to mitigate the trauma of divorce and to educate Muslims in organizing their social affairs realistically and with compassion.
 
The verse closes with more exhortations, calling upon the Muslims to be conscious of their accountability to God and to look beyond the objectives of this transient life. They should realize that in ordaining these rules God, who knows all, wishes to elevate their aspirations and bring their society more happiness and harmony. Thus, every action is linked to God and serves as an act of worship aimed at cleansing the individual and all society from immediate materialistic considerations.