Overview (Verse 233)
 
Child Care in Broken Homes
 
The following ruling concerns the fostering and breast-feeding of infants after divorce. When a marriage breaks up, certain ties, commitments and relationships continue to exist between the divorced couple, foremost among which is the well- being and upbringing of children. The sūrah covers all possible eventualities:
 
Mothers may breast-feed their children for two whole years; [that is] for those who wish to complete the suckling. The father of the child is responsible to provide in a fair manner for their sustenance and clothing. No human being shall be burdened with more than he is well able to bear. Neither shall a mother be allowed to cause her child to suffer, nor shall a father cause suffering to his child. The same shall apply to the father’s heir. If, by mutual consent and after due consultation, the parents choose to wean the child, they will incur no sin thereby. Nor shall it be any offence on your part if you engage wet nurses for your children, provided that you hand over what you agreed to pay, in a fair manner. Fear God, and know that God sees all that you do. (Verse 233)
 
A divorced mother continues to have a God-given duty towards her infant, no matter how acrimonious the separation from her husband. God’s mercy and compassion dictate that under no circumstances should the children be made to suffer, especially during the early years of life when they are still being breast-fed. Modern scientific research has shown that the mother’s milk is essential for the first two years of life for the healthy physical and psychological development of the child. Mankind needed to know this important fact and hence God, out of His infinite mercy, revealed it in the Qur’ān more than fourteen centuries ago.
 
In return, the mother has secured the right that the father must provide for her maintenance with fairness and good-will, as partners in their responsibility towards the infant and within their respective means.
 
“No human being shall be burdened with more than he is well able to bear” (Verse 233) The child should not be used by either parent as a pretext to put pressure on the other, and: “Neither shall a mother be allowed to cause her child to suffer, nor shall a father cause suffering to his child” (Verse 233)
 
Neither parent should resort to emotional blackmail or coercion to extort concessions from the other. Were the child’s father to die: “The same shall apply to the father’s heir.” (Verse 233) The father’s heir takes over the responsibility to provide for the suckling mother in a fair manner. This is a case where gains and liabilities are shared within the family: the heir receives his share of inheritance and discharges the liabilities of the deceased. It is essential that this right of the mother, and that of her child, is respected and fulfilled in all situations.
 
“If by mutual consent and after due consultation, the parents choose to wean the child, they will incur no sin thereby.” (Verse 233) If, for health or other reasons, the parents, or the mother and the father’s heir, jointly decide that it would be in the child’s interest to take him off his mother’s milk before he has reached two years of age, they shall have the right to do so, provided they have had sufficient consultation over the matter, and act in the child’s interest.
 
Similarly, if the father chooses to have the baby suckled by someone other than the natural mother, and can show the distinct advantage of such action, he may do so provided that he ensures that the suckling mother receives her wages: “Nor shall it be any offence on your part if you engage wet nurses for your children, provided that you hand over what you agreed to pay, in a fair manner.” (Verse 233) This ensures that the wet nurse would take good care of the child.
 
The verse closes with yet further exhortation to all concerned to fear God and take account of His presence and overall authority. “Fear God, and know that God sees all that you do.” (Verse 233) This, above all else, is a firm guarantee of proper and fair conduct by all.