Surah an-Nisa' (Women ) 4 : 23

Overview (Verse 23)

Women Whom We Are Forbidden to Marry
 
Forbidden to you [in marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your aunts paternal and maternal, your brothers’ daughters and your sisters’ daughters, your mothers who have given suck to you, your suckling sisters, the mothers of your wives, your stepdaughters — who are your foster children — born to your wives with whom you have consummated your marriage; but if you have not consummated your marriage with them, you will incur no sin [by marrying their daughters], and the wives of your own begotten sons; and [you are forbidden] to have two sisters as your wives at one and the same time, unless it be a thing of the past. God is Much- Forgiving, Merciful. (Verse 23)
 
Now the sūrah mentions in detail the classes of women whom we may not marry. This is one of the measures designed to organise the family and society as a whole.
 
All societies, primitive and sophisticated, ban marriage with certain women. Different nations have different reasons for such prohibitions and different classes of women whom a man cannot marry. Primitive societies normally have a wide area of prohibition, while civilised societies narrow that area considerably.
 
In Islam, women who are unlawful for marriage are mentioned in three verses: this one, the verse preceding it and the one following it. The prohibition in some cases is total and permanent, while in others it is temporary. There are three reasons behind prohibition of marriage with certain women, namely, lineage, suckling and relation through a previous marriage. Islam did, however, abrogate all other restrictions known in other human societies, such as those based on differences of race, colour and nationality, and those based on social class and position within the same race and the same nation.
 
Those whom a man is forbidden to marry because of lineage are divided into four groups:
 
Firstly, his parents and grandparents. A man is forbidden to marry his mother, his grandmothers, paternal or maternal, no matter how high their degree is. All these come under the statement: “Forbidden to you [in marriage] are your mothers.”
 
Secondly, his own issue of any degree. A man is forbidden to marry his daughter or the daughters of his children, of whichever degree they may be. This is included under “your daughters.”
 
Thirdly, the issue of his parents of any degree. A man is forbidden to marry his sister or the daughters of his own brothers and sisters, and the daughters of his nephews and nieces. All these are included under “your sisters... your brothers’ daughters and your sisters’ daughters.”
 
Fourthly, the immediate issue of his grandparents. A man is forbidden to marry his paternal or maternal aunt, his father’s aunt or the aunt of his maternal or paternal grandfather, his mother’s aunt or the aunt of his paternal or maternal grandmother. All these come under “your aunts, paternal and maternal.” Those who issue indirectly from grandparents, i.e. cousins, whether on the father’s side or the mother’s side, are permissible marriage partners.
 
Women forbidden in marriage through other marital relationships fall into five categories:
 
1. The parents of one’s wife, regardless of their degree. It is forbidden for a man to marry the mother of his wife or her grandmothers, maternal or paternal, no matter how high their degree is. This prohibition comes into effect once his marriage contract to his wife is made, whether the marriage is later consummated or not. This prohibition comes under the reference to “the mothers of your wives.”
 
2. The issue of one’s wife, regardless of their degree. A man is forbidden to marry the daughter of his wife, or the daughters of her sons or daughters, of any degree whatsoever. This prohibition, however, does not come into effect unless his marriage to his wife is consummated: “your stepdaughters — who are your foster children — born to your wives with whom you have consummated your marriage; but if you have not consummated your marriage with them, you will incur no sin [by marrying their daughters].” (Verse 23)
 
3. The former wives of one’s father or grandfathers of either side. A man is thus forbidden to marry his stepmother or the former wife of any of his grandfathers, of whichever degree they may be, whether on his father’s side or his mother’s side. This prohibition is stated in the verse preceding our present passage, which states: “Do not marry women whom your fathers have previously married, unless it be a thing of the past.” (Verse 22) In pre-Islamic days, the ignorant Arabians permitted such marriages.
 
4. Wives of one’s own children, or their children. Thus, a man is forbidden to marry the wife of his own begotten son, or the wife of his grandson or great grandson, of any degree. This prohibition comes under the reference to “the wives of your own begotten sons.” This prohibition abrogates the tradition of pre- Islamic Arabian society, which forbade marriage with the former wife of one’s adopted son. This prohibition is hereby restricted to the wife of one’s own son. Furthermore, adoption was stopped by Islam, which demands that all children be called after their own fathers.
 
5. The sisters of one’s wife. The prohibition in this case is conditional on the wife being alive and the man remaining married to her. In other words, it is forbidden to marry two sisters at one and the same time: “[You are forbidden] to have two sisters as your wives at one and the same time, unless it be a thing of the past.” (Verse 23) Again, this sort of marriage was permitted in pre-Islamic Arabia.
 
The third cause of marriage prohibition is suckling. This includes all those categories one is forbidden to marry through lineage and marital relationships. Hence, the women that men are forbidden to marry through suckling include nine groups:
 
1. One’s suckling mother and her mother and grandmothers, of any grade. This comes under “your mothers who have given suck to you”.
 
2. Daughters through suckling and their daughters and granddaughters, regardless of their grade. (A man’s daughter through suckling is a girl who was breast-fed by his wife when she was married to him.)
 
3. Sisters through suckling and their daughters and granddaughters of any grade. This prohibition comes under “your suckling sisters”
 
4. Paternal and maternal aunts through suckling. (A maternal suckling aunt is the sister of one’s suckling mother and a paternal aunt through suckling is the sister of that suckling mother’s husband.)
 
5. One’s wife’s suckling mother, i.e. the woman who breast-fed one’s wife when she was a child. The same applies to the mother and grandmothers of that woman, of any degree. Here, the same conditions as in prohibition through lineage apply, which means that the prohibition comes into effect the moment the marriage contract is made.
 
6. One’s wife’s suckling daughter, i.e. a girl who was breast-fed by one’s wife before she was married to him, and her granddaughters of any degree. This prohibition, however, does not come into effect until one’s marriage with one’s wife has been consummated.
 
7. The former wife of one’s father or grandfather, of any degree, through suckling. One’s father through suckling is the man who is married to one’s suckling mother. In other words, it is not only forbidden for a person who was breast-fed in his childhood by a woman other than his mother to marry that woman who is his suckling mother, it is also forbidden for him to marry any woman who his suckling father married.
 
8. The wife of one’s son or grandson, of whatever degree, through suckling.
 
9. To be married at one and the same time to one woman and her sister, or paternal or maternal aunt through suckling or indeed any other woman whose relationship to her through suckling is equivalent to a prohibiting relationship through lineage.
 
The prohibition of the first and third of these groups is mentioned specifically in this Qur’ānic verse. The prohibition of all the other groups is based on the ĥadīth in which the Prophet is quoted as saying: “Forbidden through suckling are all women whose relationships are equivalent to the blood relationships causing marriage prohibition.” (Related by al-Bukhārī and Muslim.)
 
These are the women who are specified as unlawful for us to marry. The Qur’ānic text does not mention any reason, general or specific for this prohibition. This means that whatever the reasons given by scholars or other people are based on personal judgement and opinion. There may be a reason that is common to all these groups of women. There may, on the other hand, be reasons that particularly relate to any one of them. Other reasons may apply to some groups, but not to all of them. It may be said, for example, that marriage between close relatives produces weaker children, especially when it is repeated one generation after another. Hereditary weaknesses may be more pronounced in children of such marriages. Marriage of unrelated partners provides the chance to combine their stronger qualities, which, in turn, give strength to children and grandchildren.
 
It may also be said that in the case of mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, nieces and their counterparts through suckling, and mothers- in-law and daughters-in-law, Islam wants a man’s relationship with them to be one of care and respect. It should not be subject to what may take place in any marriage of differences leading to divorce, with all its bitterness. These should not be allowed to replace the feelings of love and care that one naturally has towards such close relatives.
 
It may further be said that Islam wants to preserve the paternal or brotherly and sisterly feelings with some of these groups, such as in the case of stepdaughters, one’s wife’s sisters, one’s mother-in-law and stepmother. A mother who feels that her daughter may take her husband away from her cannot maintain intact her motherly feelings towards her own daughter. The same applies to sisters. Similarly, it is an unhealthy situation when a father feels that his own son may marry his wife. Again, when a son feels that his father who has died or who has divorced his wife is a hostile opponent, simply because the father was the former husband of the son’s wife, the situation becomes terrible indeed. The same applies to any marital relationship with one’s daughter-in-law. We have to remember that between every father and his son there is a tender and loving relationship that must be protected against anything which may adversely affect it.
 
We may add here that marriage is a cause for widening the circle of one’s family, taking it beyond the narrow relationship of lineage. This precludes any need for marriage between those who are already related. Hence, such marriages are forbidden, except in the case of distant relatives.
 
Whatever the reason for the prohibition, we recognise that there must be a good cause and a benefit behind whatever God has chosen for us. Whether or not we know the wisdom behind any legislation should not affect in any way our acceptance of it. We must always be ready to implement it. True faith does not establish its roots unless we accept God’s law and implement it without any hesitation.
 
Having explained this legislation in detail, we have to conclude with a few general remarks about the subject of forbidden marriages. Marriage with all these groups of women was forbidden in pre-Islamic Arabia, with the exception of two: former wives of parents or grandparents, and marriage with two sisters at the same time. These were permitted, albeit with reluctance. When Islam forbids these marriages, it does not endorse a prevalent tradition in Arabia. It initiates its own prohibition, based on its own authority. Hence, the prohibiting statement: “Forbidden to you [in marriage] are your mothers...” (Verse 23)

This is not a matter of technicalities or formalities. It is a matter of principle which pervades the Islamic faith and all its legislation. For the central issue in Islam is that Godhead belongs solely to God. Hence, permission and prohibition is the jurisdiction of God alone, because they are the most essential qualities of Godhead. He alone can make certain things lawful to mankind and can forbid them others. No one else can claim this authority or issue any legislation of this type, because that would be synonymous with claiming Godhead for himself.
 
When a non-Islamic society issues legislation permitting certain things and forbidding others, this legislation is invalid in part and in whole, and cannot be given validity in any way because its existence is not recognised. When Islam considers the legislation of any non-Islamic society, it initially rules that all this legislation is invalid and nonexistent, simply because it is issued by someone or some institution which has no authority to issue it. Islam goes on to initiate its own legislation. If in the process Islam permits something other societies also permit, or forbids what they forbid, its action is not an endorsement of what those societies have legislated. How could it endorse what it considers invalid?
 
This principle applies to everything in human life. No one other than God can issue any legislation, which permits or forbids anything, whether it relates to marriage, food, drink, appearance, action, contracts, transactions, values, traditions or any situation whatsoever. The authority for all this must derive from God, and any legislation issued must be based on God’s law.
 
This is how Islam has initiated its laws, established its systems and set its traditions in operation. In all this, it has operated its own authority. The Qur’ān emphasises this principle in all manner of ways, arguing with non-believers about everything that they have forbidden or permitted. Many a verse asks a rhetorical question, such as: “Say: who has forbidden the ornaments and the good provisions God has provided for his servants?” (7: 32) Many make emphatic statements concerning what is lawful and what is not, as in the case of the following two examples: “Say: Come and I will read to you what your Lord has forbidden you.” (6: 151) “Say: ‘I do not find in what has been revealed to me anything forbidden for anyone to eat, unless it be carrion, blood or pig meat...” (6: 145) Verses like these abound in the Qur’ān.
 
All these rhetorical questions aim at one and the same thing. They seek to emphasise the basic principle that the authority to give permissions and make prohibitions belongs to God alone. This is a right which cannot be claimed by human beings, whether an individual, a class, a nation or indeed mankind as a whole. The only way for them to enjoy such a right is to have permission from God and to exercise that right according to God’s law. To permit and forbid is to legislate, which is synonymous with faith. The one who permits and forbids is the one who establishes the faith and the one to whom people submit. If it is God who does that, then people submit to God and they follow His faith. If it is someone else, then people submit to that person to the exclusion of God’s faith.
 
When the matter is put in this light, we understand it as a question of the essence and qualities of Godhead. It is a question of faith and its limits and boundaries. Let Muslims throughout the world consider their position with regard to Islamic faith, if they truly want to be Muslims.